On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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