They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
