The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
