you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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