But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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