I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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