So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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