i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
