ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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