So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
be right there i have to get my cape
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
