In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
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So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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