Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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