Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
