He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
