Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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