what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
