worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
