It's like God shit irony all over that family
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
