bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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