What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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