I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
