she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
