i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
