You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
