I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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