Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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