Whod you bang
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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