I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
