low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
