I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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