The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
