It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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