How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
