In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
