my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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