When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
