pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize