I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
