Umm I'm too high to move.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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How's work?
Spinning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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