I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
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You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?