I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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