I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight