Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

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  (813): Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/9lls
  Replies (8) Good night (545) Bad night (1556)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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  (248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr
  Replies (12) Good night (3070) Bad night (2040)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  time to smoke my breakfast

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  (724): time to smoke my breakfast http://tfl.nu/9r0k
  Replies (13) Good night (5179) Bad night (894)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask

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  (732): I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask http://tfl.nu/8bk4
  Replies (11) Good night (4615) Bad night (649)
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  (510): View more from California

  I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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  (510): I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK. http://tfl.nu/4l82
  Replies (23) Good night (5221) Bad night (1074)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high

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  (607): Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high http://tfl.nu/24mk
  Replies (11) Good night (4974) Bad night (1257)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.

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  (713): Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner. http://tfl.nu/89n9
  Replies (7) Good night (3014) Bad night (1181)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives

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  (616): But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives http://tfl.nu/2jnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1894) Bad night (1348)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

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  (203): Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights http://tfl.nu/qbnp
  Replies (5) Good night (1821) Bad night (1110)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (481)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.

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  (508): I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking. http://tfl.nu/mdga
  Replies (16) Good night (2105) Bad night (684)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things

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  (248): Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things http://tfl.nu/ht36
  Replies (9) Good night (1200) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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  (614): Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"? http://tfl.nu/ki2a
  Replies (11) Good night (831) Bad night (381)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.

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  (616): Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did. (616): So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that. http://tfl.nu/as93
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

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  (218): I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount. http://tfl.nu/edpp
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (256)

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