you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
