Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
