matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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