Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.

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(404): View more from Georgia

on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

i can respect that.

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(613): View more from Ontario

His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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(417): View more from Missouri

In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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(254): View more from Texas

I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza

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(802): View more from Vermont

How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him

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