Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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