just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
