My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
