at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
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Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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