hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
