in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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