I wish I could teleport
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
