I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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