Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I skipped work to stalk him.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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