dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize