some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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