I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
