the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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