Plan B is the new Plan A
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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