We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
